Just a few things to sum up my last few weeks:
Tried to buy Christmas gift for small brother
Bought Christmas gift for small brother
Got suspended from work
Went back to work
24 hours later got fired from work
Can’t afford gift for small brother
Currently unemployed and feeling lousy
So I figured that the rest of the world might want to be reminded of what its like to ACTUALLY be in your prime. Because let me tell you folks, be happy you’re 30 or older, be happy you have security, what you used to imagine as the best days of your life were just figments of your imagination. Yes, if you’re lucky your twenties are a hoot and the world is your oyster. Has anyone ever told you how infectious and nasty oysters are? No, they didn’t. This period of college times means you have to get with it in the real world, which also means you’re probably going to have no money. You’re probably going to be flat on your ass broke.
Being broke means listening to noises in your car and completely ignoring them.
It means that all of a sudden, your parents have become your best friends and also your reluctant ATM.
It means you squint at your pantry trying to decide if peanut butter, pasta, and applesauce might work.
Being broke makes your cat love you, because it’s the only one eating three balanced meals a day.
It means that every day is kind of a bad day, therefore you want a drink.
You spend money on drinks you can’t afford and justify them by a lame excuse, “I deserve this!”
When buying gas, you are also deliberating on how much to put in based on how hungry you might be.
The dollar menu is appealing, but after consumption you have zero motivation to do anything, ever.
Going to class does not make you want to finish your degree, it makes you want to stab someone in the eye for dressing up to a lecture.
When you’re broke, your rich friends on Facebook make you wish you won the lottery.
If you live on your own, bills have become subjected to the eenie-meenie-minie-moe game, to decide on which one gets paid first.
You make the irrational decision to stop paying car insurance because you think you’re a good driver, what could happen?
Leaving your house only adds up to dollars and cents in your head and you would rather mope in your living room.
Craigslist has become your new best friend in “Get Rich Quick” pyramid schemes.
Being broke makes you wish you had better credit to get a credit card.
When you have good credit, you max out your credit card and loathe the monthly payments.
But most of all, being broke makes you value a dollar like you never had before.
Suddenly, all of the parenting you’ve received about finances is starting to ring a bell and you can hear your parents saying, “I told you so”.
Because being broke is the crappiest, most useful learning experience you might ever have.